Twelve FailSafe Ways to Charm Witches
by Snickelfrits
Summary: Ok, so we know what the boys were doing early on the morning of Harry's birthday. Ever wonder about the girls?


DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter, or anything else you may recognize in this story. (Oh, how the truth stings!) I do, however, own an exceptionally adorable pair of wedge heels. Jo, if you're reading this, I would be willing to consider a trade. ;)

And without further ado, I proudly present…

Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches

Hermione Granger groaned as she felt a surprisingly hard blow to her side, considering the pushiness of the object which had struck her. She opened her eyes to find her red-headed, freckly friend towering over her, "_Ginny!_" Hermione said, annoyed, as she too grabbed her pillow for defense. The red-headed witch swatted her on the head, bursting out into a fit of giggles as a thoroughly annoyed Hermione's hair stood up at angles that truly defied gravity.

Hermione grabbed her wand off the bed-side table they shared and pointed it at Ginny, smirking triumphantly.

"NOT… FAIR! Okay—okay, I give!" Ginny squealed between peels of laughter.

"Fair _enough_," she said, putting her wand down and running a hand through her hair. "Thanks a lot, Gin. _Look _at me."

_I know,_ Ginny mouthed, giving up on speech.

Hermione rolled her eyes, unable to hold back a small smile anyway. "So… today's Harry's birthday!" She regretted the words almost as soon as they had left her mouth. Ginny's laughing stopped abruptly, and turned back toward her bed, shoulders slumped slightly.pillow in hand, grinning as she pulled it back around in windmill fashion.

"Oh, Ginny, I didn't…" Hermione mumbled uneasily, walking over to put a comforting arm around her friend's trembling shoulders.

"I j-just… I d-don't…" Ginny hiccupped. "Why am _I_ so helpless? He knows that anyone around him is in danger. Why am I so different? He could d-d-..." She trailed off, sobbing.

Hermione sighed, and bit back the advice on the tip of her tongue. She felt that comforting silence was the best for her friend right now.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were about to embark on a near-impossible journey to trace down six horcruxs, or pieces of Voldemort's soul, to try to defeat the dark wizard at long last. Harry, Ginny's ex-boyfriend, was determined not to put her in harm's way, and his way of doing so was breaking up with her and staying as far away as possible. It was as if he was fearful of spreading a deadly and highly contagious disease. _In a way, he is, _Hermione thought sadly.

After a couple of minuets, Ginny faced her, eyes red and puffy, but smiling. "Let's go say hi!" There was a mischievous glint to her amber eyes.

Hermione laughed. "Just don't forget that Ron and I are in the room!"

Ginny snorted. "Do you, like, even _know_ Harry?"

…And with that, against their better judgment, Hermione and Ginny tiptoed down the hall, still in their nightdresses.

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Stifling her giggles, Hermione tapped Ginny on the shoulder and pressed a finger to her lips.

Ginny turned and nodded, pressing her ear against the door of their unsuspecting, innocent friends' door.

"…present. Unwrap it up here, it's not for my mother's eyes."

There was a silence in which Hermione could hear the padding of Harry's feet coming closer to the door. She also heard Ginny take a sharp intake of breath as they both jerked away from the door, just in case.

"A book?" Harry's voice said, piercing the silence. "Bit of a departure from tradition, isn't it?"

Hermione and Ginny exchanged identical half-amused, half-confused looks before listening at the cracks on the door once more.

"This isn't your average book," said Ron's voice. "It's pure gold: _Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches._ Explains everything you need to know about girl—"

But Hermione and Ginny were already sprinting down the hall, being as quiet and light on their feet as possible as they held in their laughter.

Once they made it back to Ginny's room, they both exploded in laughter. Hermione collapsed on her bed, not even making a sound as her body shook and her breath came in sharp gasps when she was lucky.

When she had finally gained most of her composure, she looked across the room, where Ginny sat perched on her bed, eyes sparkling with tears and still giggling slightly.

They stared at each other for a full twenty seconds, until Hermione said, "_Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches?_ _What?!"_

Ginny giggled again, before straightening up. "MERLIN knows he needs it!"

Hermione snorted in a most un-lady-like fashion. "_That's_ for sure. Ron, too. Thank Merlin. We need to send whoever wrote that thing a flower arrangement."

Ginny and Hermione burst into another round of uncontrollable laughter.

"What _I_ don't understand is why they need a book to figure it out. _Honestly._ What's there not to get?" Hermione finally managed.

Ginny's eyes narrowed and she tilted her head comically. "You're not kidding! I could have told Ron pretty much everything he needs to know: _DON'T_ go off snogging bubble-headed tarts when you have a perfectly brilliant, beautiful witch in front of you…"

Hermione smiled and nodded vigorously.

"DON'T call said brilliant, beautiful witch a nightmare, accuse her of 'fraternizing with the enemy'—" Ginny's voice was sarcastically formal, adding to the hilarity of the situation, "call her a know-it-all, or BLOODY IMMITATE HER AS SHE SHOWS OFF SAID BRILLIANTNESS IN THE FORM OF ANSWERING A QUESTION IN CLASS."

Hermione raised an imaginary glass. "Here, here!" She exclaimed. Ginny mimed the motion, and they both drank from their imaginary glasses.

Hermione decided that now would be a good time to give Ginny the advice she had withheld earlier that morning. "I think that Harry simply loves you too much to get you involved. He understands that you are every bit as capable as the rest of us, Ginny, he just doesn't want you in the ring of fire."

Ginny stared at her, amber eyes narrowed slightly. "Hermione." She paused. "I belong to the biggest blood-traitor family there is. I am also Harry's ex-girlfriend and Ron's sister. I am already in the _ring of fire._ There is absolutely no reason why keeping me far away and useless is doing anyone any good."

"I don't think Harry's right—I just understand where he's coming from and think that it's my duty as both your and Harry's best friend to try to keep the peace!" Hermione's tone was slightly pleading, and she was leaning forward on the edge of her bed now.

The corners of Ginny's lips twitched upward. "Harry put you up to this, didn't he?"

For the fourth time that morning both girls burst out laughing.

- - - - - - - - - -

Author's Note: A bit Harry Potter meets Girls Just Want to Have Fun, eh? laughs

Well, this is my first completed Harry Potter story. Hmmmm… I could really use some reviews…

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